The NOT Made Up News

CAMBODIA-- Before she died, she told her father that she would return as a bird. Three days after the funeral, her father discovered a peacock sitting on her grave, so he took it home, believing it to be his reincarnated daughter.

The bird sleeps on the deceased woman's bed, which presumably has had the frilly bedspread replaced with a plastic tarp. Though as a human she was a bit peckish, she now enjoys the occasional tasty bug, if one happens into her boudoir.

The fowl twist of fate that left the woman dead has been the cause of hope to at least some. The idea that something supernatural has happened, came home to roost as villagers flocked to the bird to offer it holy water in hopes that it will heal one of them. This, in spite of the fact that it is usually dogs that are taught to heal. It is unknown whether her father will try to feather his nest by selling his daughters eggs, eat them, or name them after himself and include them in his will.


KANPUR, INDIA-- It's mayhem in the streets in this industrial center, and it's because of those pesky statues of Buddha that were destroyed in Afghanistan. Moslems in this predominantly Hindu nation, blame Hindus for burning a Koran in protest over Afghani Moslems blowing up two Buddha statues in a predominantly Islamic country, while Buddhists, who in India are a minority, pretty much stay out of it, except for in Sri Lanka, which is a different country altogether, where the president wants to buy the pieces of the demolished statues and rebuild them in Sri Lanka, with United Nations money, gleaned from really high dues the U.N. has assessed the United States, which they probably won't pay anyhow, through the auspices of UNESCO, (United Nations Education, Science, and Cultural Organization ) who's main purpose is to promote education in third world countries, apparently by reassembling giant religious icons.

The cost of all this? Two five hundred year old artifacts destroyed, a number of people dead, 200 shops looted, and a minor loss to the Afghani beef industry.

That's right. In a move to appease Allah for not destroying the Buddhas quickly enough, a mullah in Afghanistan has ordered 100 cows to be slaughtered. PETA (People for The Ethical Treatment of Animals) has largely ignored this atrocity while the other PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) thought it a shame to waste so much perfectly good jerky.